Because I could not make this name up if I tried

I signed into Yahoo mail and got the following friend request.

Never heard of the person, but consigned him/her to screenshot eternity, for obvious reasons:

And on the off chance that Moist.Bootie, alias Lucid Truffle, is someone I actually know and I should realize this, then (a) sorry, (b) I didn't mean it* and (c) I hope we can still be friends.

* Just kidding.  I did.