duane reade n. (various upside-down letters to indicate that it is pronounced "Duane Reade") a drugstore located approximately every .0000000003 block (1.576 telegrams) in New York, with 305 new arboreal locations opening up this summer to Better Serve You, if You are a squirrel.* This makes it the fourth-most populous establishment in The City, narrowly edged by Chase and Capital One banks and things now featuring the name "Trump," as in "Trump-O-Let."
*Not that I am suggesting you are personally.
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