Sunday, May 27, 2012

Kid Zone

I received the following e-mail from my father. I figured it needed to be shared:


"While choosing cereal at Target yesterday, I heard this dialogue from over the shelf.  This is unedited.

Child's voice: You want it?

Smaller child's voice: Yes.

The two children (query and response, back and forth): You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.

Woman's voice (presumably the mother):  STOP IT!

The two children (giggle mutually, then, without missing a beat): You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes. You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes. You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.

Woman's voice:  STOP IT!!!

The two children (giggle, not even vaguely concerned, then): You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes. You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes. 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Woman's voice: STO-O-O-O-O-O-P IT!!!

(repeat the above ad infinitum)

As we walked across the parking lot, I imagined:  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...Yes.  You want it?...

(Sound of automatic weapon tearing through the shelves and displays and the flesh of shoppers, general shrieks of agony, blood spattering the inside of the glass door enclosure...then.....silence.)

(pause)


Little voice:  You want it?...

Other little voice:  Yes...

(giggles)"

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Good Lord. Sounds exactly like my children. Give it to 'em, I say.