Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Comic Con, Day Two: Rise and Shine and Snark

Greetings from Pacific Time, where I commenced my day bright and early, courtesy of my body. Now this had heretofore been a relatively inoffensive vehicle, with which I had enjoyed a basically harmonious coexistence save for a dislocated toe or two and a disconcerting tendency to store lipids:

ME: zzzzZZZZZzzzzZZZZZ
BODY: GOOD MORNING!
ME: gnuhh
BODY: WAKEY WAKEY! IT'S 7:14 A.M.!
ME: No, no.  It's only--
BODY: LIAR! 
ME: Look out the window.  Look, it's dark outside, see? It's all a misundersta--
BODY: WA WA WAAAAAA CAN'T HEEEEEEEEEAR YOU!!! I'M HUNGRY! I'M HUNGRY! I'M HUNGRY! YOU MUST OBEY ME BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY!
ME: Let's just go back t--
BODY: I'LL SCREAM!
ME: --just another ten minu--
BODY: I'LL SING!!!
ME: --five mi--
BODY: FINE! YOU ASKED FOR IT! COME ALONG AND FOLLOW MEEEEE / TO THE BOTTOM OF THE SEAAAA / WE'LL JOIN IN THE JAMBOREE AT ...
ME: Okay! Okay! Up now! You happy?
BODY: ... THE CODFISH BALL

So we got up, enabling us to go to the Comic Con, which had obligingly continued to be person-intensive, especially in the "Professionals" line, the main criterion for entry into which had evidently been the following question:

Q. Have you, at any time, breathed using lungs or a similar appendage?

But we did eventually gain entry, thereby enabling my father to do his scheduled book signing, during which time I contemplated working on my laptop until a personage in the know informed me that Wi-Fi use would cost me $500,000 per minute plus "the retina of my choice," at which point I settled for more economical recreations such as listening to persons holler things like: "YOU GOTTA BUFFY CALENDAR???" Also: "BUT I WANNA BUFFY CALENDAR!!!" 

Our entry also allowed us the fulfilling cultural experience of seeing a lot of -- and I say this with the utmost sensitivity and respect -- Wonko McNerdwads carrying light sabers.  Not that I am suggesting this is ALL there is to the San Diego Comic Con International, an immense institution that has been going forty years strong, bringing joy to millions of comic lovers.  No, for there is also the Great Looming Pikachu Ass of Death*:




And if you have not experienced the GLPAD, you, Sir and/or Madam, have not lived, and I pity you.

More wonders coming soon.  

P.S. And I haven't even told you yet about my most fulfilling cultural experience of all out here, namely observing that (a) this city is populated by many rickshaws and (b) many of these rickshaws are driven by visually pleasing young men.  Also (c) the rickshaw drivers in the city I come from would use these guys as appetizers.

P.P.S. California features In-N-Out Burger.  The legends are true.



* And you just know he was allowed to enter as a Professional.


©2009, Nicola McEldowney
The Snark Ascending

3 comments:

gus said...

GREAT LOOMING PIKACHU ASS OF DEEEEAAAAATH

you realize we must get this to feature in the show somehow

Nicola said...

haha, yes, I figured as much.

The Old Wolf said...

Somewhere in there was the incident involving sixteen tons of charred flesh... ;^)